svrferblood:

me when buying something over $10: do i need this? do i need any material objects? will this matter when i face the great abyss?

barachiki:

The British Government flies in for a meeting.

barachiki:

The British Government flies in for a meeting.

iamnotheretoamuseyou:

missfaery:

socossweets:

missfaery! You’re my person so I’ll always help you hide the body ;) lol

Idk how any one thing could be more perfect. 

People help their people hide bodies. <3

majesticaljeff:

rednecktex:

huffy-lemon:

Favorite story posts part 1

That last one

My dad says the ‘making love in a canoe’ about american beer

dennys:

We love you, Weird Al. ‘Cause you’re weird. And you love parodies. And so do we so we parodied your face with breakfast food. 

dennys:

We love you, Weird Al. ‘Cause you’re weird. And you love parodies. And so do we so we parodied your face with breakfast food. 

I just want someone to bring me pizza, tell me I’m pretty, and fuck me.

foxnewsofficial:

cumomelet:

a riddle:

a man is driving his son to school. they get into an accident and the man dies. the son is rushed to the hospital and when he arrives for emergency surgery the doctor says “i cant operate on this boy, he is my son!” 
how is this possible? 

omg one time our english teacher told us this to try and show what a modern thinker he was and we were all like “it’s a woman” and he was like oh wow i thought he was gay i hadn’t thought of that

cleanlined:

The 1944 classic!  

cleanlined:

The 1944 classic!  

sixpenceee:

Oh my god 
I’d run too 

sixpenceee:

Oh my god 

I’d run too 

opale-de-lune:

miss-freeman:

somuchawkwerd:

mimibon:

nge:

mimibon:

tree-whispering:

beep beep

What is that!

mim its a lighting bug or whatever they light up

WHAAAAAAT THATS SO COOL HOW DOES HE  DO THAT! ITS JUST A BUG BUT IT LIGHTS UP

lol it had never even occurred to my that there were parts of this planet where lightning bugs are not indigenous

I AM SO JEALOUS I WANT TINY LITTLE BUG LANTERNS 

PEOPLE DONT HAVE THESE??

Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.
Hunter S. Thompson (via observando)